LUCAS' STORY.
Early in my career working in behavioral health, I recognized that those I was serving experienced a childhood that was familiar to my own, full of conflict and crisis. Luckily for me, any conflict was also accompanied by many family members sharing the love they had to offer. Many patients did not have the same access to athletic outlets as I did so I had to begin using patience and curiosity to understand and familiarize myself with their need for skills to cope with their unique daily challenges. The greatest impact I would observe was when we connected thought challenging, physical activity, and the willingness to change.
My professional experience has offered me guidance as a sibling, son, husband, and father supporting family members who have experienced mental health challenges in their lives. Watching others close to us deteriorate due to being misdiagnosed or misguided by a variety of providers is a helpless feeling for anyone with limited behavioral health experience. Walking in those shoes offers me insight and empathy for future clients and family members who are experiencing these challenges in their journey.
After we were able to build stability and health in our family, I learned we would not have a future with our own biological children; it wasn’t in the cards. We decided to foster children and were introduced to two incredible young girls from Milwaukee who needed a home. They were 3 and 5 years old. After nearly two years and a consistent message they would need an adoptive resource, they had a biological family member from out of state step in and accept custody.
After nearly 2 years, within 72 hours, we transitioned from being a family to saying our goodbyes. We went from being Mom and Dad to being lost. We were heartbroken, and I didn’t know how to move on. During a long summer of feeling lost in a house full of silence, my dad asked me to sign up for a 40-mile bike ride. Only that obligation to my dad allowed me to agree to this adventure. After jumping on the bike and finding myself exhausted after only riding a few miles, I realized I would need to start working in an effort not to be shown up by the "old man." As I trained, I felt the weight of sadness and grief begin to lift. After completing the event, I knew I would need to keep up this level of exercise because it had proven to be the best medicine I could imagine. I continued to ride with my dad all year round, participating in century tours and often camping off our bikes. It was clear that by challenging my own thoughts along with physical activity, I was able to begin moving toward the healthiest version of myself.
After finding some peace from that loss, there came a time when a quiet house was no longer an option for my wife and me. After seeing a commercial related to adoption that made us both tear up, our next call was to renew our fostering license. Shortly after, we met 3 little boys who were 2, 4, and 5 years old, and our lives would never be the same. I learned that each professional and personal challenge I have faced has led and offered me the foundation of skills to be a better team member, husband, and father. To serve those around me, I need to be the healthiest version of myself, both physically and emotionally. Each day, I elevate myself above my own unhelpful thoughts and lack of physical motivation. I believe there is a foundation of skills I have learned that might also benefit others. When motivation proves to be absent, we can build knowledge, discipline, and determination to continue to improve our experience in the face of unrelenting challenges.
