Moving Toward Mastery of Box Breathing

Happy Sunday, everyone! I hope you’re cozy in your warm, dry home, gazing out at this beautiful March snow. Yes, I called it beautiful. It would be easy to curse Mother Nature for gifting us this weather as we near the end of March, but gratitude is a more powerful force than any storm, and it’s one that doesn’t always come easily. Gratitude is a skill that requires us to see and experience things differently than we feel in the moment.

“With gratitude, optimism is sustainable.” — Michael J. Fox

We often judge our circumstances as a reflex—reacting to them rather than responding thoughtfully. Perhaps we're wired this way. After all, humans have been equipped with a sympathetic nervous system that helps us prepare for "fight or flight," mobilizing our resources in the face of danger. Perhaps judgment is a survival mechanism.

But let’s be honest: Most of us aren’t being chased by lions. So, when negative thoughts and judgments begin to take over, can we manage them? Absolutely!

This post is the first of two because I believe there are two critical skills we can learn, practice, and master to improve how we respond to stress and avoid slipping into unhelpful judgments. Today, I’ll introduce you to Box Breathing, and next week, we’ll explore a basic yet powerful technique called S.T.O.P.

Welcome to Box Breathing!

Whether you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or just need to hit the reset button, box breathing is your trusty ally. Ready to unlock your ability to thoughtfully respond to stress rather than react to it? Let’s dive in!

1. Find Your SpaceBox breathing can be practiced anywhere. If mindful breathing is new to you, you might want to start in a quiet, controlled environment. Find a cozy spot, sit back, relax, and let your spine feel supported. Close your eyes (unless you're driving—then, just keep 'em open and chill).

2. Breathe InTake a deep breath in through your nose. Imagine inhaling your favorite scent, filling your lungs with fresh air for a count of four. 1... 2... 3... 4... Hold... hold... You're doing fantastic!

3. HoldHold that breath in for another count of four. 1... 2... 3... 4... Feel the power of the breath. Let it center you.

4. Breathe OutExhale slowly through your mouth, as if you're blowing out a candle. Let it all go with a four-count. 1... 2... 3... 4... Ahhh – feels good, right? A slight decrease in heart rate during exhalation is normal; it's called respiratory sinus arrhythmia. You're already starting to relax and feel less reactive.

5. Hold AgainPause and hold the empty lungs for four counts. 1... 2... 3... 4... This can be a little uncomfortable for many, but you're doing great. Give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back because we’re holding still!

Repeat the CycleContinue breathing in, holding, breathing out, and holding for as long as you like. With each round, you’ll feel calmer and more centered. Box breathing is all about creating a rhythm that calms your nervous system and centers your mind. Each cycle is like a little reset for your soul.

Feeling lighter? Energized? Like you could conquer the world (or at least take a nap with zero stress)? That’s the magic of box breathing.

Now that you’ve been introduced to this powerful technique, it’s time to practice! Start your day with box breathing to prepare for the stressors ahead. Have a big meeting or a challenging conversation coming up? Take a few moments to practice box breathing beforehand—it’ll help lower your heart rate and keep you centered. It’s also a great way to wind down before bed, helping you prepare your mind and body for a restful night’s sleep.

As you continue practicing and mastering box breathing, you’ll find that it’s useful throughout the day. We all lead busy lives, and this technique can become a valuable tool to help you regain focus and calm in any moment of stress. When we look out that window and want to begin cursing mother nature for reintroducing me to my shovel so late in the season, perhaps, I can take a masterful breath and with gratitude, look forward to watching my boys play out in the snow one last time this year.

Next week, I’ll introduce you to S.T.O.P.—another simple skill that not only encourages you to pause and breathe but also to acknowledge your feelings and gain greater control over them.

Have a fantastic week and remember: You are pure potential!